Margaret Cho and Racial Melancholia

 In Margaret Cho's PsyCHO, she presented herself as approachable and palpable, making even the most controversial/touchy topics seem less than. I really enjoyed how comfortable she was about bringing up topics such as sexuality, racism, discrimination (even within her own community), etc. While although most people found her discussions about rape to be "too much", I believe it was an important moment to include since it brings up a relevant question: Are people that experience sexual assault allowed to place it into a comedic setting? I personally cannot talk about that/answer that since I have never experienced sexual assault, but I do think it's an important question to raise. Comedy and joking about traumatizing situations can be a coping mechanism for some people and I feel that if that is relevant, it should be discussed. 

As for the reading about racial melancholia, I really appreciate having a term to describe what it feels like to be perpetually trapped within the realm of "false assimilation", for a lack of a better word. From my personal experience, given that I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood, I sometimes forgot I was Asian. After being made fun of for having "stinky" food for lunch, I never brought my own food unless it was for field trips. Even then, it would be generic, American food. I believe that I subconsciously chose to bury any associations with my Thai culture unless it was at family gatherings. When I reached high school, I definitely felt conflicted about how I saw myself. Was I American or Asian? I feel like I act more American, but I don't have a typical American face, so how can that be? The feeling of being stuck between two cultures feels almost like a gloomy cloud continuously following me. 

Another aspect of the reading that stood out to me was the fact that if an Asian American does not fit within the stereotypical "model minority" framework, they are erased from mainstream representation. I personally would love to deny that term. I definitely am not the stereotypical Asian that is portrayed in movies and media. I work hard in school, but my goal isn't to get a 4.0 GPA. The values that my parents have are no longer mine since I've gotten into college. The one main difference between my parents and I are our beliefs on independence. My parents, especially my mother, believes that children should stay close to home, or even live in the same house as their parents until they're old. I surely do not want that. I want to live in my own house and provide for my own family some day. The term that immediately follows my desire for independence is "ungrateful". I believe it would be interesting to see more movies or media portrayals of the clash between values and beliefs between Asian American children and their immigrant parents.