At the time of this film, his two brothers, Chadara and Touch both represent two opposite outcomes of an "Asian American". Chadara assimilates and adopts the "nuclear family" dynamic by prioritizing his new family while dropping his own. He believes that he needs to provide for wife and children in order to succeed and live prosperously. As for Touch, he is convicted of attempted murder when he brought a gun to school and attempted to fire at a Black student who had been taunting him. Compared to his two brothers, Don is stuck in the middle, unsure of what his next steps should be. He doesn't want to go down the path Touch has taken, but he also doesn't want to follow Chadara's footsteps either. Towards the end of the film, he clearly states that he enjoys being with his family, and at that time, they had only just started spending quality time with each other. As discussed in Heyang Kae's Collateral Narratives, this triangle of brotherhood unfortunately demonstrates the falsity of neoliberalism. While Don and his family did end up moving to a better-quality house, we have to remember that the government's help usually takes up to 5 years to be put into action.
In Gary Okihiro's chapter, he brings up an interesting point about how Asians are seen as the perpetual foreigner due to their inability to assimilate. Relating this realization to myself, I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood, where most of my friends, teachers, and neighbors were white. Throughout high school, I never thought about whether or not my race/ethnicity had a role, unless it was brought up. In some ways, I felt like I had assimilated to the white culture I had been surrounded by the majority of my childhood, but now that I have the chance to look back at my past, I'm able to remember instances of injustice and prejudice. When I was in 5th grade, I had a super rich friend and at the time, I thought that was the coolest thing ever. She had her own room, a pool, hot tub, fancy ass bathroom, a HUGE movie theater, etc. On her birthday, her friends and I were invited for a sleepover. We had an amazing time (or so I thought), but the next day at school, she comes over to me and says, "You're not allowed at my house anymore." I was completely confused, and when I asked her why, she said something along the lines of, "My dad thinks it would be best if you didn't come. He doesn't want to worry about anything." Years went by and I had no idea what she meant. My senior year of high school, I was catching up with one of the girls from that friend group and we started talking about that incident and it finally clicked. Her dad didn't like me because of who I am. I wasn't the smartest student, I was always loud and energetic, and my parents own a restaurant. While it is quite common for Asian immigrants to come to the US to open some type of small business (mainly restaurants), I felt hurt for being judged by it. Most of my life, I had felt insecure for having parents that always worked, came home looking tired every night, and never really bonding with me. Something that will always rub me the wrong way is a phrase my dad loves to remind me of: "That's the price we have to pay for coming here. Be grateful."
I really resonated with your point about your family's workload affecting the structure — my mother worked at our family restaurant until the early morning, so I feel like I could write a small dissertation on how American work ethic separates immigrant kinship. I also couldn't help but feel that Don felt similarly frustrated at his mother's distant financial support and spotty presence. Even with that experience, it still is baffling to consider how there are so many pushes and pulls that cause immigration, and yet it feels like there is daily sacrifice for staying here. It definitely felt through watching that Don had to sacrifice something incrementally while simply living.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really intense memory! As a child of an immigrant, I feel really angry that your friends looked down on you because your family worked hard and were entrepreneurial. Isn't that the backbone of this country? You and Smailyn's observations about what all the hard work costs our families in building their American dream also resonates with me. Our parents were tired and working all the time and so we missed out on some of the bonding that many non-immigrant families take for granted. I agree that this film really shows the emotional toll of all of that in an important way.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely with you it shouldn’t have to be “family or work” its almost as if the system wants us to be separated from family. I know when I was younger I had a similar experience with my mother being the only one working so I would have to take care of me and my younger sister starting at age seven. It definitely emphasizes hard work and sets the picture for what life is all about. I know Don had a lot of brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews he rarely talked about.
ReplyDeleteI really love your point. I am also really afraid of my parents being busy with work and not having enough time for family. And this movie is really emotional and it succeeded in showing this side of reality.
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